Neurodivergent Love Languages
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How We Show Love, and How to Love Us Back
Sometimes, love isn't roses and candlelit dinners. Sometimes, love is a perfectly crafted spreadsheet, an in depth analysis of the physics behind why toast always lands butter side down, or sitting in the same room doing absolutely nothing together. Neurodivergent brains have a knack for showing affection in wonderfully weird ways that might fly under the radar if you're not paying attention. So let's dive into the beautifully chaotic ways we express love-and how you can throw that love right back at us.
The Hyperfixation Hallmark: If I Info-Dump, I Love You
If we are passionate about something, then we've got to let the world in on it. Not low-key, but full-on passionate deep dives about subjects you never asked for yet now know an awful lot about. If we info-dump on you, that's not just passion about the topic; that is affection. We are inviting you into our current favorite parts of ourselves.
🔍How to Spot It:
Whether we're sending you articles, rambling about our latest passion, or enthusiastically explaining how something works, that's love in action.
🫶How to Love Us Back:
Listen, nod, and throw in a "Wait, what? That's so cool!" every now and then. Extra credit if you send us a random meme about our current obsession or pretend to care about the abandoned theme park we've been researching for 147 hours straight.
Parallel Play: Sit in the Same Room, Do Nothing, Love It
For many neurodivergent brains, the times of connection aren't necessarily about constant conversation. Sometimes, just being near you-each doing our own thing-feels like the most substantial bond. Be that working side by side, scrolling on our phones in comfortable silence, or simply existing within the same room, this quiet existence can speak louder than any words. Who needs constant conversation when you can simply exist together? For many of us, hanging out in comfortable silence, each doing our own thing, is the ultimate bonding experience. It's like, "Hey, I like you enough to do nothing around you."
🔍How to Spot It:
If we invite you over to hang out with no agenda, or seem perfectly content to sit in silence with you, that's a sign we're comfortable and connected.
🫶How to Love Us Back:
Lean into it. You don't have to fill the space with conversation-just being there is enough. Respect the calm, and know your presence is valued even without constant interaction.
Gift-Giving, Neurodivergent Style: Here's a Rock I Found; It's Important Now
Flowers and chocolates are nice, but forget them-how about a perfectly smooth pebble that "just seemed like you"? Or an inside-joke present so hyper-specific, it took an inordinate amount of time to track down? When we give gifts, they are often quirky, deeply personal, and sometimes a little odd.
🔍How to Spot It:
You've been handed a rock, a cool leaf, or a bizarre trinket that somehow screams you. Or, hell, maybe it's an ultra-niche gift that is actually related to that one comment you made offhand three months ago.
🫶How to Love Us Back:
It's the thought that counts, not the price of the gift. Give us something weirdly specific, even if it's just a funny doodle or a meme that made you think of us. We'll treasure it like it's priceless.
Fix-It Mode: If I'm Solving Your Problems, I Care
Got a minor problem? Oh, we're on it. Whether it's fixing your tech issues, organizing your chaos, or offering unsolicited but very detailed advice-problem-solving is just our love language. We're not trying to steer the ship-you matter, and we want to make your life easier.
🔍How to Spot It:
We’ve found a quicker route to your favorite spot, tidied up that cluttered drawer (because it was begging for it), or quietly fixed that wobbly chair you didn’t even notice.
🫶How to Love Us Back:
Let us help-and set boundaries if necessary. And if you really want to see our hearts soar? Ask us for help. It means you trust and value our input.
The Random Acts of Research: Solving Life's Mysteries Because We Care
Casually mention you're interested in starting a garden? Well, buckle up! We have done a full deep-dive into soil types, plant care, and the best times to water your succulents. It's not a hobby; it's how we help people thrive.
🔍How to Spot It:
You get random links, articles, or even a fully detailed guide on something you mentioned once. We might even offer to help you set it all up.
🫶How to Love Us Back:
Show enthusiasm for the research we've done. Even if you don't follow every suggestion, knowing you appreciate the effort means a lot. And hey, ask us for advice-we love being your go-to problem solver.
Artful Maker: Making You Whimsical, Wonderful Things
If we care about you, we make something for you: from a handmade doodle or an elaborate LEGO sculpture to anything knitted (including that somewhat-amorphous-but-made-out-of-love frog), by hand is where our heart meets giving. We'd love your comments.
🔍How to Spot It:
You’ve been gifted a handmade keychain, a cross-stitched quote from an inside joke only you would get, or a slightly questionable clay blob that’s definitely supposed to be a cat. It’s quirky, it’s one-of-a-kind—just like you.
🫶How to Love Us Back:
Treasure these little weird creations! Show them off, put them somewhere visible, or just let us know how much you appreciate the effort. And if you make us something in return—no matter how small—it will likely be treasured forever.
The Bottom Line: Love in All Its Gloriously Weird Forms
Neurodivergent love isn't always the loud kind or super obvious, but it's there-in the little things, the quirky gestures, the unexpected gifts, and the quiet moments. Be it sharing our hyperfixations, having the lights just right, or sending you 47 memes in a row, these ways are how we say, "You matter to me." And when you recognize and give that love right back? That's where the real magic happens.